Lionstep :: ThunderClan :: Deputy :: Tom

[.:Fawn:.]

Name: Lionstep
Age: 40 moons
Do you Honor?: StarClan
Mate: Breezepelt
Kits: Crowkit (adopted)
Gender: Tom
Clan: ThunderClan
Rank: Deputy
Breed: Somali
Appearance:

Quite the attractive, well-meaning cat, Lionstep has truly been StarClan-blessed from an early age. With long, dense, ruddy golden and gray-and-black-ticked fur, this large tom cat is more than a little reminiscent of the wild cousin he was named for. The fur around his neck billows out in a pale, golden-yellow mane, a distinctive brownish-black “M” mark often found on tabbies set on the center of his forehead. Alongside the white coloring around the eyes, his chin/lower muzzle, Lionstep was also blessed with lengthy white whiskers. His tail is a long, sweeping, gold-and-black-ticked plume, and so happens to be the thing he likes the most about himself. His eyes are a somber shade of gold with a dusting of black nearest the pupil, as if the color gradually fades more and more into the black, fathomless centers with every few moons that pass him by. Lionstep had this particular name bestowed upon him because of two simple (and obvious) physical characteristics; he has the closest resemblance to a lion the Clans have seen in moons, and abnormally large paws. Because of these massive paws, he very rarely loses his balance. Lionstep is a fairly large creature, but large not in bulk but in overall size; a ThunderClan warrior, clearly. With his muscles and weight evenly distributed to each and every one of his sinewy limbs, this tom is a force to be reckoned with.

What comes with these abnormally large paws, however, are unsurprisingly long claws, giving this young warrior the power of intimidation to add to his already formidable skills. Equipped with a piercing amber stare and a deep growl, apprentices aren't always the first to leave the battlefield when faced against him for an opponent. Lionstep's pelt is darkest along his back and the tip of his tail, painted with black-and-gray ticking. This is called, according to breeders, a broken salt-and-pepper-appearance. The color that shines out on him the most is undoubtedly the golden-yellow hues along his chest and forepaws, making him glow brighter then even the aspens caught full bloom. His fur is a brilliant silver under the moonlight.
Lionstep is not just the showy warrior he may appear to be, because all things considered, his true purpose, written all over those golden eyes of his, is to fight and protect. It's always been what his body was made for, and his mentality is simply a compliment of that purpose.

Personality:

Upon first glance, Lionstep seems to have captured that regal, fierce quality of his namesake quite well, allowing one's imagination to form several preconceived notions based on his looks alone. However, despite the glorified presence his appearance may bring him, Lionstep is a more complicated being then first projected. Behind those golden eyes is a fierce, reckless soul driven to protecting and keeping after his Clan even better then a queen after her own kits, Lionstep's devotion to the Clan not something to be questioned. As far as his sometimes rash behavior goes, the motivation behind this character flaw is the tom's selflessness and courage in the face of danger, Lionstep brave to the point of recklessness and senseless self-endangerment. His chosen method of responding to hostile situations is swift and immediate action; whether or not the situation calls for this is another story entirely, and sometimes he forgets to consider whether the choice he's making is for the best. As a kit, Lionstep did have a few problems with acting-before-thinking, but this flaw has gradually begun to wane, prone to rearing it ugly head only when he forgets himself or he's significantly lost in the moment. Fortunately for the Clan, this is a rare occurrence. Lionstep is exceptionally motivated. The tom's drive to do his best for his Clan having begun at an early age, this desire has only strengthened as the moons have rolled past—it's even brought him to where he is now.

One of Lionstep's biggest strengths as well as biggest weakness is this tom's die-hard support and belief in ThunderClan, Lionstep willing to protect and defend it even if it's ThunderClan that's in the wrong. Lionstep's support seems to know no bounds, and whether or not he's digging his own grave by pledging such devotion to his Clan is still unclear. His greatest display of physical prowess is done solely on the battlefield, the tom never ceasing to shine in the red-tinged light of war—Lionstep making excellent use of his strength and claws combined. There's something ominously familiar about this Somali tom, as though he bears the strong aura of the cat who was once loved by few and hated by many, Tigerstar, leader of ShadowClan—but there is no cat alive who could possibly make such a connection. However, before anyone jumps the gun and accuses him of being as dastardly and ambitious as Tigerstar had been, his personality still has a bit of unraveling to do.

Lionstep has several parallel traits with the long-dead ex-ThunderClan warrior, but they aren't as ominous as previously thought. Lionstep shares Tigerstar's ambitious nature, but in a smaller degree. However, they both share the physical trait of bearing excessively long claws, and a strong, broad-shouldered build. Lionstep is masterful in battle, and without any knowledge of Tigerstar's fighting techniques, seems to have learned and perfected them all on his own. Like Tigerstar, Lionstep can come off as aggressive towards cats of other Clans, and usually needs no back-up when fighting, but this is the end of their similarities—as Lionstep seems driven towards a more StarClan-lit path, when Tigerstar still hunts in the shadows of the Dark Forest. Now that he has achieved the rank of deputy, Lionstep goes out of his way to remain as emotionally distant and open-minded as he possibly can, trying to combat his stubborn desire to act-without-thinking all the while. Despite his efforts to remain indifferent, what brings out his earliest personality traits—his warm, fun-loving older-brother-like side, are kits and new apprentices. Lionstep has a soft spot for those playful little bundles of fur, and can, on occasion, be found hanging about the nursery to spend a bit of time with the kits and queens. Naturally considerate of others, this is another outstanding trait of his that further increases the gap between himself and Tigerstar, Lionstep being the kind of cat to keep from stepping on anyone's toes, and often performs tiny, subtle acts of kindness to show his appreciation towards his Clanmates—something that Tigerstar never did.

Taking a step back now to look at the overall picture, every cat can usually conclude with what's been stated above. Lionstep is a sometimes reckless, brave cat with masterful skills in battle and a strong figurehead for his Clan. He works hard at his role as Deputy, and tries to consider all sides before making a decision—something he's had to work on particularly hard during his apprenticeship days. What's ultimately determined Lionstep's character, however, was not becoming Deputy, but another significant event in his past that still seems to carry weight today.

History:

Lionstep was born to the former ThunderClan deputy, Badgerstripe, and his mate, Sandfur. The first born of three kits, Lionstep was the strongest, as well as the only one to survive the harsh season of leaf-bare his family endured during the first two moons of his lifetime. At 4 moons of age, Lionkit found himself to be an only child, his siblings having passed away before they could see the first buds of newleaf—but with the careful nurturing of his mother and the stern guidance of his father, Lionkit soon forgot that he'd ever had siblings to begin with. It's a harsh concept to come to terms with, but it was better that he enjoy his kithood as an only child, free of burden and sadness, then spend it a mourning kit, grieving over his lost siblings. Badgerstripe and Sandfur had him late in their lives, and it wasn't long until the both of them retired to the Elders' den—Lionpaw entering his 8th moon as an apprentice at the time. His first mentor was a young tom by the name of Whitewing, and Lionpaw was intended to his first apprentice—so it was safe to say that Lionpaw's training wasn't as great as it should've been. Fortunately, his time with Whitewing didn't last long, and unfortunately, Whitewing's death was the cause of this.

It was during a battle against several invading loners in which Whitewing lost his life; it was Whitewing's elder brother, Aspenfur, who was selected to take over Lionpaw's training. However, during the battle against the loners, Aspenfur suffered a nasty injury to his back leg, which kept him somewhat inactive for a few moons—and Lionpaw's training was once again, passed to another cat. This cat was a senior warrior by the name of Sagefur, and was, in Lionpaw's opinion, the greatest cat whoever lived. Sure, he was older then the ground he walked upon, but that didn't mean he wasn't as sharp and tactful as he'd always been—educating Lionpaw about things other mentors wouldn't even bother with. He taught him information about each of the Clans, the things he'd learned throughout his moons as a warrior, and Sagefur even taught him about the old legends of TigerClan, LionClan and LeopardClan. Lionpaw was fascinated by the tales Sagefur told, even to the point of pledging to his temporary mentor that he would be just as great as the leaders of TigerClan, LionClan and LeopardClan—promising to surpass these legendary cats in everything from battle skills to hunting crouches. Sagefur was pleasantly amused by this, but did not seem to encourage Lionpaw's enthusiasm for the old Clans—as if he found Lionpaw's efforts wasted. He always told him to 'be all that he could be, and not someone else'.

Lionpaw politely ignored Sagefur's words of wisdom, and still dreamed of the old Clans, envisioning himself as the greatest warrior amongst them, walking not in the pawsteps of the greats, but alongside them as an equal. In the seemingly short 5 moons Lionpaw spent with Sagefur, he'd learned more then he ever had while under the tutelage of both Whitewing and Aspenfur—and the young tom was very sorry to give the senior warrior up. Lionpaw became Lionstep at 15 moons of age, and spent the next 8 moons making a name for himself amongst the ranks of ThunderClan, eager to prove that he was the best warrior he could be. His hard work was rewarded when Falconstar, the leader of ThunderClan, passed away, and the ThunderClan deputy, a she-cat known as Stormclaw, became Stormstar and appointed him the job of deputy. He was 33 moons at the time. His role as deputy ran smoothly for the first month or so, and it wasn't until a short battle with RiverClan over the Sunning Rocks in which his presence as deputy was genuinely felt. The attack occurred when he was taking a small border patrol around the ThunderClan perimeter, and a surprise battle patrol from RiverClan caught the young deputy and his Clanmates off guard. It was at this time that Lionstep truly felt like the ThunderClan deputy, his responsibilities sinking in at last. Rather then flee for reinforcements, Lionstep chose to stay and fight, the tom keeping a close watch on his Clanmates as they fought tooth and nail for a territory that was already theirs to begin with. At the time of the battle, Lionstep hadn't been sure he'd made the right decision, but when he finally saw the scratched, fur-raised backs of the enemy retreating, he finally felt reassured. The Clan as well, had been reassured that the right decision had been made when appointing him their deputy. Six moons later, the battle slowly dissipating from their minds, the Clan has found no reason to doubt his abilities as deputy, and he is determined to keep it that way.

Roleplay Example:

The first rays of New-Leaf dappled the camp-ground beneath him. His massive golden paws kneading into the earth with anxious consistency, the deputy released a small growl of discontent. He felt trouble brewing on the horizon, what with the news that Cragstar had become leader of an entirely separate clan—QuakeClan, they called themselves. Lionstep hadn't been sure how to react to such news, (as he'd been present at the exchange of words between the leaders), but in his heart, he did not feel that QuakeClan was something to be afraid of. After all, they had their side of the gorge, and ValleyClan had theirs. However, that didn't mean he misunderstood his leader's position. If a new rival had suddenly sprung up out of cats you'd once known, liked, and fought alongside, you'd be hostile and agitated too. Lionstep could decipher the leader's feelings, what he couldn't decipher, however, was what was to be done about QuakeClan.

The deputy raised his mighty golden head to the last rays of sunlight, his dark-amber eyes beginning to glow as he drank in the sun's fleeting warmth. It was as though StarClan had sought to reassure him, like a mother's loving touch to a troubled kit, that things would all work themselves out in the end. With some of the ease evaporating from his chest, the lion-like tom released a semi-relieved sigh, golden optics closing as the scent of new-leaf wafted around him. He looked his best then, right there in that pool of sunlight. He wasn't out fighting a tangible monstrosity of a foe, or protecting a few frightened kits from an intruder. He was simply sitting, watching and keeping guard over the whole clan, facing a problem he can visibly grasp with his claws and tear asunder—his head held high in spite of such an unclear future.

(^^ I used an example from a different site, I hope that's alright. If you want me to change it, then that's no problem.)

Pictures:

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2

Codeword:

-Edited by Rain-

[Lawly-Pop]

A couple of things I see right away. First, can you add his gender and rank to the title? I'd also like you to turn the pictures into links please, because they are pretty big.

The roleplay example is fine, since it is with Lionstep. If Rain doesn't like it, she'll tell you.

Make sure you watch your 'Clan' capitalization, and remember that 'Star Clan' is 'StarClan', etc. I saw few mistakes, so that's a good thing.

[.Rain.]

I edited the links because they were stretching the board, and I edited out the codeword, but I accidentally erased the Do You Honor box. I will edit this post when I read through it fully.

---

So far in the appearance I see a lot of run-on sentences. I would suggest that you turn some of the commas into periods. Words in bold have been corrected for spelling/grammar errors.

Example: "With long, dense, ruddy golden and gray-and-black-ticked fur, this large tom cat is more then a little reminiscent of the wild cousin he was named for, the fur around his neck billowing out in a pale, golden-yellow mane, a distinctive dark brownish black “M” mark often found on tabbies set on the center of his forehead."

I would turn this into "With long, dense, ruffy golden and gray-and-black ticked fur, this large tom cat is more than a little reminiscent of the wild cousin he was named for. The fur around his neck billows out in a pale, golden-yellow mane. A distinctive, dark brownish black "M" mark often found on tabbies is set on the center of his forehead.

I'd suggest that you Ctrl+F and do a search for the word clan. It will help you make sure that you got them all.

Also, try to keep from using the words 'you' or 'me' in your bio. That's just a formality, though.

You missed a Star Clan in the roleplay example, by the way.

Other than that, it looks pretty good. Just make sure you roleplay him having faults. I see them in your bio, but Lionstep has a lot of good qualities that may make him seem perfect. Just a reminder.

[.:Fawn:.]

-In reference to your PM-

Avoid using the slash? o.O I'm not quite sure what you mean by that.

[.Rain.]

"/"

Sorry. xD. I should have made that clearer.

Don't forget that to be deputy he has to have had an apprentice. Please mention that somewhere in his history, because it is an important event.

[.:Fawn:.]

^^ there.
I hope it works this time!

[Lawly-Pop]

I VOTE YESH! So I win.

And yes Raineh, before you ask, I am going to do this every time I'm called on to vote something. And I approve, anyway.

[.Rain.]

-pokes Rowan-

Actually Spottedfawn wins.

Accepted as Deputy of ThunderClan!

Congratulations! Use it well, and don't forget to add him to your signature.

[.:Fawn:.]

^^ Lionstep's bio has been revised, edited and thus re-posted. What do you guys think?

If it doesn't work, then I can always put back the old personality/history/age that I had before. =) I hope though, that we can all think of his revised bio as a serious improvement.

[.Rain.]

I knew that the new version would be fantastic. .

A couple of small things, like the fact that there is no sunningrocks here and that you called him young in his appearance, but they don't detract from the overall picture. I like it better than the other one.

Accepted as deputy of ThunderClan(again) xD.

[.:Fawn:.]

ROFL. (Again)

o.O What? No Sunning Rocks? Whoops. Do we have something like sunning rocks that I can use instead?

^^ and thank you! I feel much better now about Lionstep.

[.Rain.]

Hm... What did I put as the border between RiverClan and ThunderClan again? We need a map. xD. Check the terriotries of both Clans. You can use anything that doesn't mention another Clan or says that it's in the middle of the territory.

-pokes Rowan- Hey Ro, want to use your prettyful map-making skills to draw us a map?